Christmas in India

The day had all the makings of something eventful. When the sun came up to reveal the view out the room window there were peacocks...4 of them. Beyond them was the red tinted sky of the valley below, colored by the wood and trash fires of the cold night before. Above the hue was the brilliant blue of the sky at this altitude and latitude, streaked with alto-cirrus wisps of horse tail clouds. Against this backdrop was the silhouette of two perfectly placed trees. It was a still life of substance...breathtaking, original, and wildly inspirational.

My spontaneous cleanse had entered a new phase and though i was a bit nasal, my spirit was happy. Went to breakfast and the mood of the entourage was a mixture at best. This land is famous for laying one's life on the table to examine the parts, being ready or willing has little to do with it. It happens when it happens. second day here, body work yesterday, late night celebration, Christmas far away from home. It was beginning to look like the perfect storm was gathering. Perhaps this was why we had all come...a bit of a quiet meal left everyone going off to do their thing of choice...exercise, yoga, walk, bodywork, photography, meditation, sleep, guitar picking..whatever...but separate...even the couples were drawn apart, as if higher hands were culling the herd to diminish distractions for what lies ahead.

My bodywork, reflexology, was at 1pm so I was gathering a focus to head out. I had been hesitant about getting started...and in the middle of this quasi protest i drifted to some thoughts before the trip even started. i had felt trepidations that something was going to happen over here. It was easy to think negative because this is, indeed, a foreign land to me. It even crossed my mind that i was not coming home. I checked in nervously and my guidance called my bluff...symbolic statement...but change was definitely afoot. I let it all go the best I could and simply vowed to monitor my thinking and experience for further direction. Back to today, I felt again that feeling of change and being different...whatever...cleansing does bring up random toxic thoughts that revisit the consciousness...I decided to go over early and get a sauna before the foot session. Here, in the gents, section, you are met by several attendants to assist the manifestation of intention. They are respectful, gentle and very good at what they do. I was taken to the sauna, given water and sent into the space. It wasn't long before the clouds gathered and the revelations began to come. Dry heat hastens the release of the toxic residue. I noticed a growing sense of self consciousness and self-judgment/criticism being directed toward my physical self. It showed up as a feeling of getting old faster than I wanted to. This is not an issue i have felt conscious energy about before. But today was different and it wasn't long before i was seeing how i had duped myself about it.

These last three weeks I have simply felt and looked older and I saw that i had mostly tried to ignore it. But here it was, and on recognition, a whole host of tearful expression occurred. I had been storehousing personal judgments about my appearance. I was moving past mirrors and not wanting photos taken of me. It appeared that I was slowly giving up on myself. Now, the heat of the sauna was squeezing it all out through my pores. Every bead of sweat seemed to carry some unexpressed personal criticism. I saw how I had created a condition over time. Extreme focus on building the web site had left me quite literally without any physical activity and eating erratically, sometimes late in the night at the computer because i had lost track. So some weight was showing up...and where a month before i was active and feeling really good about myself, that was a distant memory today. I had come all this way to India to see my masterful self abuse. Now, typically when one experiences any child abuse, decisions are made about value and self worth. And these decisions become the rules for living because they must be played out to the child who is just trying to survive. I had slowly been finding fault, and according to Universal principle and law, I was reaping what I was sowing in the physical. My thinking was coming true. Tears and sweat...tears and sweat...water...drink water...tears and sweat, heat...heat...heat..burn it up...burn it up. A bit numb by what was happening, I hear a knock on the glass door...time to go...shower...cleanse me and wash away my tendencies...down the drain...cleanse me now...

In this frequency i am taking to the reflexology appointment by a tall man who looks like he can do the deep work i like. After a brief five element ritual, he puts my feet in water and begins to wash them...bam, tears...immediately the universe calls someone to counter my patterned thinking. Onto the table and 70 minutes later I am done...in a mindless daze I shuffle after him to the Gents room and am given tea. I sit there and drink the tea in silence just looking out the window...at nothing.I must take a steam bath is the voice I heard. So i go and in the marble room with the fabulous acoustics i take my stand against the past and proclaim that which i am becoming. I declare my unwillingness to criticize any longer...on and on it goes in an inspired soliloquy. I claim my maleness and release all the reasons I have used to create a less that desirable condition. I toss away my hesitancy, my sabotage, my interruption of joy, my finding fault...I celebrate my beauty and power and sensuality and prowess and simply reclaim my body as magnificent. The words echo through the steam room. The tears mix with the sweat to accompany my long needed catharsis. Done...shower again and wash away tears . Completed i dress in an obvious afterglow and head for the door.

The moment I walk out the door I am met by a male peacock in display of color and grace and beauty and power. It is a stunning testament to accentuate my just made decision and declaration. I am a beautiful man...show it and walk with that knowing..it will fill my moments. I converse with the peacock until he moves on. To the pool side for some sun baths. There are 20 lounges there all in rows on either side of the pool. As I am lying there I hear a rustle and assume it is new clients getting some sun. I let it go and arise about five minutes later. I turn to my left and there, on the back of a lounge chair, two chairs away, is that peacock, this time in full regalia with all feathers out and his chest puffed out. I am speechless....I get it, I say...I get it....yes, I got it. What a remarkable orchestration of immediate support ...I get it.

It is Christmas Eve here, not a national holiday by any means. But there is ceremony here at Ananda as so many visitors are westerners. A 7 PM gathering down by the amphitheater announcement is circulated among the guests. Deborah and I walk out to hear the strains of music that is definitely not Indian. The combo plays a song...that sounds like rudolph! Two bars into it the lights dim and switches flip and power is lost. Temporary, but I have a little judgment here about the music...geez, let it go! Our group gathers and we head down to see a four piece band of Indian men playing country music...yes, I said it, country music: Christmas carols, gospels, christmas songs, John Denver...all sounding a bit like Elvis...it is so frickin' awesome and memorable. They were good and had about one set's worth. Mulled hot wine is served along with a sea of eats. It doesnt take long to get into the spirit of it all...with a single tree behind the band, strung with 2 strings of green lights, we and all the other guests do a country bear Christmas half way around the world hosted by an obviously respectful and honoring people who don't even practice the custom. Unbelievably beautiful.

But wait, there's more...

Inside at the restaurant, we walk in to be greeted by an incredible feast of food and dessert. Section after section of chef's preparing exotic dishes ...take one from every flavorful station...even a turkey...no beef, though, for obvious reasons. And then the pinnacle was an entire room with these intricate dessert creations, little Santas, trees, Christmas pudding...a gigantic gingerbread house...my...God!...these people love us! They prepared this feast for people so far from home. they were sensitive and compassionate and empathetic and hit a frickin home run with their handling of Christmas. Now I have had some amazing and memorable Christmas's, but this is right up there with the top. I like to think it was a collective celebration of my reclaiming and proclaiming my manhood. I have never experienced a country bear jamboree so far from Disneyland.

Man, there is something about this place...a feeling and a growing experience. Deborah, the shaman, told me that India and Nepal have the thinnest veil between the spiritual and the physical worlds. In other words, they blend easily to reveal a harmonization frequency that simply opens one up and lifts them to a higher place...may your Christmas experience be equally memorable. It is just Love. And when Love is at the foundation of any act, there will be beauty and joy and open hearts.

Merry Christmas from India...tomorrow, a quick dance at the waters of the Ganges